The summer camp you always wanted, but did not have wealthy enough parents to attend.
June 29th-July 5th 2020, the year of perfect vision(s).
Hosted at/home base being the “office” of Big Bruiser Dope Boy’s grandmother, Derry, in Spring Green, Wisconsin.
The workshop is free. 8 participant maximum.
Travel, lodging, food, and attraction costs, however, must be (dis)covered by participants themselves.
If you wish to bring food, coffee, cigarettes, or binoculars to share, amen, sis.
Camp Director: Big Bruiser Dope Boy (Cult Leader/"Daddy")
Camp Counselors: Sam Pink (Boxing Instructor/Drill Sergeant/Resident Straight Person) and Joey Russo (Sicilian Hex & Shade Thrower/Bird-Watching Instructor)
Day 1 (Monday)
Meet and Queef.
We are taking a walk at Turtle Hill Sanctuary as a group. Counselor Russo will teach us to identify various avians. When we get back to the office, we have to write down everything that happened. No taking notes allowed. Everyone will inevitably write something different. A bird-learning experience and practice.
Day 2 (Tuesday)
We are getting drinks at The Shed in town. When we get back to the office, we have to write down everything that happened. No taking notes allowed.
Day 3 (Wednesday)
We are going shopping at Walmart in Dodgeville. When we get back, we have to write down everything that happened. No taking notes allowed.
Day 4 (Thursday: 1st Day of Gay Shame Weekend)
With Counselor Pink as our guide, we are visiting The House on the Rock Attraction. When we return to the office, we will take turns, one at a time, walking contemplatively in a labyrinth Grandma Derry designed and constructed directly outside the office. No writing is allowed on this day. Use tonight to edit the writing from the first 3 days.
Day 5 (Friday: 2nd Day of Gay Shame Weekend)
We will write down everything that happened during our experiences at the Attraction.
Day 6 (Saturday: 3rd Day of Gay Shame Weekend)
Full day of rest. We will clean Grandma Derry’s entire house for her. We will cook dinner together. Use tonight to edit the writing done on day 5.
Day 7 (Sunday: Final Day of Gay Shame Weekend)
We will read everything we wrote aloud together. We will listen to each other’s writing in attempted complete silence and respect, unless it is funny and we laugh. Some of it will probably be funny. We will share our listening experiences with each other. Turn in all writing to BBDB.
Celebration at The Shed.
No illegal drugs of any kind. Seriously.
Be as kind and non-violent as you possibly can. Do not be an asshole, a douchebag, a jerk, a twat, a prick, or a cunt. Having sex with each other is not allowed. Or, if you do it, do not get caught or tell anyone else about it. This is good, clean fun and work. Clean up after yourself. Grandma Derry is doing us an immeasurable favor by granting us her living space for our work. Her speech is gospel. She is the house mother. This is The House of Graves.
NO SHARING ANY WRITING WITH EACH OTHER BEFORE THE FINAL DAY OF GAY SHAME WEEKEND.
No rainbows of any kind allowed except those naturally occuring in the atmosphere.
Non-creepily administered nightly deer tick checks required to ensure camper safety.
AFTER IT IS OVER:
BBDB will edit and publish “Selected Writing from The Gay Death Trance Summer Camp” on gaydeathtrance.net.
Come to camp ready to pay attention and work hard. If you wholly commit to this, it will change your life and writing, forever. I am counting on this happening to me, too. We must support each other, and also be honest with each other. All and no mercy simultaneously. We will become lifelong friends.
If you want to join us in this literary adventure, please send a cover letter and 20-page writing sample to email@example.com.
All are welcome to apply. Deadline: April 30th.
Let grief give rise to the senses.
“There is a fine line between liberated and dead inside.” -Counselor Russo
All My Love,
Big Bruiser Dope Boy
Photograph: Grandma Derry's Labyrinth