Dispatches from the Gay Man Cave

by James Long

Fashion Tips for the Suicidal



Hanging

Dept. Store: Store-brand fleece jogging suit with white Chuck Taylors. No socks.
Boutique: Izod polo with Hilfiger shorts, white Nike low-rise socks with Puma sneakers.
Couture: Belted gold-lame Versace jumpsuit, silver Jimmy Choo pumps. 


Opiate Overdose

Dept. Store: Martha Stewart kitchen smock and green yoga pants, barefoot.
Boutique: Embossed Calvin Klein pull-over, skinny jeans (any brand), Tom’s sneakers.
Couture: Alexander McQueen Jacket, black Michael Kors pencil skirt, impeccable pedicure.


Gunshot (pistol through the temples)

Dept. Store: Retro rock band T-Shirt, Levi Jeans (preferably boot-cut), white Hanes socks.
Boutique: FCUK sleeveless top. Nothing else.
Couture: Vintage Halston Goddess Dress with Sheer Cape, Louis Vuitton Silhouette sandals.


Gunshot (shotgun through the mouth)

Dept. Store: Store brand lawn & leaf bag worn over the head.
Boutique: Hefty brand black compactor bag worn over the head.
Couture: Gucci 1955 Horsebit messenger bag worn over the head.




“No One Likes Me” Boys



These “no one likes me” boys
Irritating
Irresistible

It’s easier to be with
Someone I hate
Than to be alone

I once killed a hamster
By giving it a Mohawk




Hey



His greetings went
Hey handsome
Hey sexy
Hey mister
Hey lady
Then I knew




Dad



I sat across from
dad at the kitchen table.

I tried to think of mom
who’d died that afternoon,

but instead thought about
dad, whose wife had died.




What It Looked Like



I remember
What it looked like
The faces falling
cheekbones hanging on

They came in anyway
Seeking normality
Seeking acceptance
Seeking you

But you turned
Away from your future
Away from safety
Away from them

They were different
They were stupid
They were careless
Just like you

And they died
In front of you
You didn’t care
You watched and judged

I saw you

James Long lives in Denver, Colorado. He works for the state in HIV and STI treatment and prevention. He also works nights at Ross Dress for Less.

Photograph: "DRESS FESS" by James Long